I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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