EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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