Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
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