somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
