TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
