hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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