Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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