I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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