I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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