Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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