People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
