youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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