So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i love accidental penises.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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