He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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