What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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