yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
