wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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