it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
