after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
