There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
