Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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