I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
