i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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