can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
