Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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