Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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