the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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