there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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