Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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