Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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