I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
