So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
