I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
