guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
