I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
