What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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