Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
