I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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