wat bout pragnant strippers??
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Randomize
