Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
