New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
