How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
