Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
