Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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