Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And the cops told us we were all naked.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
