On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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