Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
