I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
