He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
