But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
