Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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