have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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