i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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