Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize