If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was like eating out sand paper
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My vagina is officially offended.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
