He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
