they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
