Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
