matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
