She went from zero to smokin in five shots
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
