The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
