Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
