Your dad touched me again.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize