i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
