Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
