when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize