Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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