White coat. Heels.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
