Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's the barista slut.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
