I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
