real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
