Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
my poor anus
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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