i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
