Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
